A few months before the armada was finished, then time james bond francis drake and his trusty golden hind (his ship) and a couple of swashbuckling ruffians we all know and love attacked the spanish harbor that produced the ships for the oncoming battle. the succesful charge bought the englich the time they needed to pull the big ace out of their sleeves; canons! At the time most ships where only equipted with small, heavy, inaqurate, shortreaching steal c**ks that came little lead balls all over but not the enemy ship. Now, most ships where also not constructed to withhod the massive kick of the landcanons known as fieldsnakes. Fortunatly beths dad King Henry the 8th (the dude who lobbed the heads of his wifes all day long) had some new types of ships invented that actually could bear those canons. Unfortunally however daddy also left a massive ass hole in the english treasury that his daughter had to deal with. The leading Canonsmiths at the time where the Habsburgian Family of the Dreillichs. a knacky band of engineers who build state-of-the-art bronce canons for the highest bidder. Knowing about the supiriority of their product those cannons where so god damned expensive that few rich nations could actually afford them, leave alone at-the-time-piss-poor england. But as in any big rich family theres always the whacky cousin. In the case of the dreillichs it was Adam. adam was born to some way out 30th grade married one sister in law of one of the driellichs effectivly sharing only the name of the family (and just enugh dough to live the good live). By Familytradition he would never be allowed to build Cannons cause he was to much of a cousin. Adam (who had everything) wanted more. Luckly so did the english and they hired him to bring them the plans and recipie for southern german cannon boom pie and in returen he would be allowed to build those cannons in london. Adam agreed and went out to steal the papers in no doubt some mata hari-esque fashion to the bring them to venice where a english ship would pick him up and bring him to england. The plan worked and adam succesfully delivered. In ol' england adam began to produce right away and build the english some kick as bronce bling with boom factor. the popped them on there boats and saild into the mouth of the english channel where the expected the spaniard to appear. They did. The Spaniards had tall as Galleons full of bloodthirsty armed-to-the-teeth badasses ready and willing to slash some protestant english limb. What the didnt have where Cannons. Naval Warfare of the time was mostly enteri-and-fisticuff based fun with a good chance to fall of a plank and be horribly squashed by the alligned, weaving ships. The english killed that fun by just swiming in front of the Armada with their smaller ships an continuasly shooting at those probably pissed of spaniards. The current in the english channel kept the Armada from turning tail and pressed them around england. The Trip around the island took circa a week full of english shelling leaving the spaniards crying for mommy and the english content that god speaks english.(Der Kommentar bezieht sich auf diesen Artikel.)
Geschichtsstunde
Falls ich es noch nicht erwähnt habe: Im Interwebz findet man ja immer so tolle Sachen. Ich lese mir meistens die Kommentare durch, denn da stecken oft Rohdiamanten. Also: Heutiger Rohdiamant: Der EpicFail der Spanischen Armada 1588, erklärt für 5-jährige.
